I wouldn't normally do it, because if there is one thing new parenthood has already taught me it's that everyone is entitled to his or her own philosophies and nobody likes unsolicited advice. Different strokes for different folks, as my dad would say.
Except I took Zoë to the doctor today because she had a rash and has been pretty fussy lately. Turns out the rash is just a normal infant skin condition that will heal itself in a few weeks and her fussiness probably just the fact that she's almost 2 months old--when it peaks.
Anyway, in the course of our conversation, the doctor casually handed me an Amazon printout featuring this book:
Now, I haven't read it, but from the reviews on Amazon, I think I understand the book's major points, which are to gradually move to feeding your baby on a 4-hour schedule and not feeding her at night at all.
I know that people do this and their kids thrive and sleep great. But I've also read articles like this one (that's a link) that make me very wary of programs like the one my doctor was recommending (Baby Wise being one example of them).
In any case, it seems rather irresponsible for a doctor to be pushing a book written by someone outside of the medical profession and one that can actually result in underweight infants, low milk supply, and attachment/trust problems. Again, I'm not saying that everyone who follows these programs has those problems and it seems like the people I've talked to who do follow them don't usually subscribe to them 100%. But I'm thinking it's time to find a new doctor.
Any suggestions?
Also, why is it that one's value as a parent is seemingly measured by "how well" (i.e. long) one's baby sleeps at night? Is that really the thing we care about most?
7 comments:
oh man. i had someone pushing baby wise SO hard with jules, and it just...yeah. can o' worms, and really awkward conversations every time she'd say, "so! Is baby wise working for you?" and I would think, "no...because i'm not doing it."
abigail slept twelve hours on her own from about 6 weeks on. and she also weaned herself from nursing at about six months, and had very low weight. Juliet nursed like a fiend through the night until I don't know when, it all fades into sleep-deprived haze, didn't sleep regularly and reliably until about seven months, and is still nursing vigorously at 10 months with no weight problems.
it's a toss-up, but i'll tell you what--with the next baby i'm not going to be pushing for sleeping-through-the-night super-early, nice as it was. it just isn't worth it for the costs. and if the baby tries to do it on his/her own, like abigail did...tough cookies. i'm so waking that kid up.
Cohen started sleeping through the night (8 hours) when he was 5 weeks old and I was so happy, but when we went to the doctor he told us that wasn't good for him and that we needed to wake him up during the night a few times and feed him. We tried that for one night and he was just super cranky and not hungry because he wasn't waking up on his own; we were forcing him to wake up & eat. So we just decided to forget what the doctor said and let him sleep & eat on his own schedule, and he's slept really well and has grown fine ever since then.
So the point of that huge comment was to say that even though it sounds like our situations might not be the same I think that you just need to trust your instincts as parents. Your doctor knows a lot of stuff, but s/he doesn't know your baby like you do, so you're definitely the best judge.
I had a couple of people try to push Babywise or some other method/book on me, too, but I just kind of said thanks for the advice and did what I wanted to do anyway. Good luck! :)
I don't like the idea of a Doctor trying to push that on you. Some babies need to eat during the night. Two months is pretty young to cut out a night feeding. I don't see a problem with feeding on demand, but that is just my opinion. I hear all sorts of weird stories about putting babies on diets or on strict schedules and it doesn't make much sense to me.
About the rash, that's exactly when we had that same problem and we switched to Dreft detergent and it cleared up. You may have already tried changing detergents, but if not, you might try it out.
Every baby is different, every mom is different and every Dr. is different. I have now gone through 5 pediatricians,(just from moving around so much) each with different opinions--keyword being opinions about how to best raise your baby. Basically, I ignore that part of the checkup. If the baby is healthy, and all is physically well with the child, really that is about all I need a pediatrician for. Your instincts will tell you the rest.
Sorry, the other day when I mentioned babywise to you I hope you didn't feel like I was saying you should do it. It worked really well for my way of parenting and it also worked great for both of my kids. It's as if it was the natural way for them, if would have been hard on them or if they weren't gaining weight I would have looked for a different solution. I feel like everyone finds their own way, however, it is nice to hear from people what their methods were, so that maybe something someone else did might work for you.
You seem like an amazing mom. It totally seems like you've bonded so wonderfully with your baby & that I think is really something.
Ummmmm I'm the worst mother ever... I didn't read a single book except before I was prego and Keilani turned out fine. I think I broke all the rules with her and she pretty much thought my breast was a food source/binky.... but really liked the experience... good thing she was my first right!
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