Valley

A baby who mistook night for day

Friends and family losing

jobs, faith, spouses, sight of dreams

A husband more giving than given to

have carved the valley

that surrounds me today.

Handsome

There's more where that came from.

These two . . .

. . . crack me up.

Blessing

We blessed our little Nico the day after Christmas.

The decision to do so was rather impulsive, and we didn't get the word out to everyone we would have liked to, but it was good to have so much family in town, in flesh and in spirit. (We were especially missing the Stan of Nico's Stanford and the last time he stood with us on these steps.)

There is such power in having a group of good men surround a baby and focus all of their spiritual attention on him,

knowing that he too may stand with them in circles to come.

He was blessed in the same blanket as the baby boy that my 10-year-old self (almost) loved like a mother, my brother Jesse,

and his feet were warmed in booties crocheted by generous hands.

His sweetness though is all his own,

even if it does strongly resemble his sister's.

Free e-book

This came up in Josh's Google alerts tonight. Do you have a Google alert set up for your name? If your name is on the internet as much as Josh's, you do.

Yes, it's my thesis and yes, I got sucked into reading part of the intro.

Even though I haven't had any formal education past my MA, the five (five!) years between then and now have made me see a few things about my thesis more clearly:

Theoretical immaturity? Check!

Lots of unfounded assumptions? Check!

Typos? Check!

It's funny what time can do. I don't necessarily feel bad about these realizations, but I also don't want this to be my last "published" (free or not) work. We'll see what the next five years bring . . .

On my mind

1. Wearing one's pajamas the entire day while working at home is both a blessing and a curse (as Monk would say).

2. Life after 20 goes really fast. As I contemplate turning 30 this year, the only thing that really freaks me out about it is how fast 40 will come after that. And then 50, etc.

3. The things we do daily really do shape our beings. See number two. Daily is synonymous with eternally.

4. You can argue until you're blue in the face about what's wrong with the U.S. healthcare system, but everyone has to be outraged about the fact that a good 75% of the medical bills most of us receive reflect miscalculations on the part of our insurance companies. Today I was told by an especially candid insurance agent that the automated system processing their claims "often makes mistakes" and that "to be honest," I would almost certainly never be refunded if I made an overpayment. I was urged to always review my explanations of benefit to catch problems. In other words, I was urged to decipher two pages of illogical codes and descriptions, often indecipherable to the agents themselves, to guard against mechanical failures that benefit the company they work for. I've saved $250 in the last two months by continuing my practice of calling about every medical bill I receive, explanation of benefits be damned.

5. It's so very nice to realize (or have reconfirmed) that adult siblings and spouses can be our best friends and that if we were ever to live together, by force of circumstance or volition, our lives might be the best combination of cooperative work and party imaginable.

6. If I didn't work at my paying job, I would still be the same kind of mother I am on my "off" (on) hours with the kids. I need to be the mother I want to be now, regardless of the way the clock slices up and serves me my day. See number three.

7. I want to read Gilead again and really digest it. I also want to hear from God.

8. I'm really excited about the steal of a deal I found on a Chariot jogging stroller/bike trailer on KSL.

9. There is nothing cuter or sweeter than the emergence of Zoë's little grown-up self and Nico's little sense of humor. Seeing him chortle at her shenanigans feels like winning the lottery.

10. I like even numbers.

Heaven . . .

. . . is a three-month-old who sleeps 12 hours a night straight.

Of course, our nearly three-year-old does no such thing . . .

Summer in February

We're in SF and it was near 80 today . . . lovely weather for the park and then the beach. I'm just saying.