I just spent $5 on chapstick. And it is worth every dollar. Hold on--I'm going to apply some more.
Okay. The five bucks bought me "chap defense lib balm" of "organic formula and pure plant origin" and a "peppermint-tea tree" flavor. It's also "suitable for vegans." The labeling doesn't specify what such suitability is based on. Apparently those dumb vegans don't realize that "pure plant origins" means a lack of animal-derived ingredients. Either that or "suitability" is instead a fashion hint--I mean, those vegans don't think they can wear red lipstick, for crying out loud, do they?
But I did not deem my $5 well spent because this chapstick--I mean chap defense--so artfully led me through the complexities of vegan beauty rituals. The fact is, I am a hopeless addict. I would have purchased a cherry-flavored lip smacker for ten times the cost just now. Never again will I rely on Blistex Lip Infusion Moisture Splash with its opaque packaging and paltry conditioning properties. I didn't realize it was gone until after I got to work, where I lasted a commendable 20 minutes before driving to the nearest chapstick vendor, which happened to be Borders. Borders offers bliss.
And so it is that I'm feeling especially empathetic toward heroin users and alcoholics this morning.
6 comments:
One in my purse, one on the night stand, one in the car, three extra in the medicine cabinet, and Parker always has his. It has to be Chapstick original though, no other kind will do. We understand.
See, that's my problem--even though I'm a total addict, I have surprisingly few backup chapsticks. Need to work on that.
While at scout camp last week, I "sticked" [we need a new verb for this] every day, save one: and the result? puffy, burnt, painful lips. So, I'm asking, is this really an addiction?
You've been an addict for years.
Borders sells chapstick? Crazy.
Chapsticks are like bubble gum. Fancier the taste, faster it goes away. With chapsticks, the more moisture it promises for your chapped and aching lips the faster it dries them out.
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