A conversation

Somehow we ended up with not one decent picture of Thanksgiving--probably because our picture-taking muse was in bed during the actual meal (thank goodness; I could actually eat.) Suffice it to say that we spent a lovely afternoon with Josh's family, which included a long stroll along the river and ate a delicious meal at my Uncle Tim and Aunt Debbie's. Then we had Thanksgiving leftovers the next night with Josh's family--and good thing we did, because even being vegetarian, Thankgiving food is hands-down Josh's favorite and he hadn't yet gotten his fill.

So instead of that post, I'm going to share a conversation between Josh and a neighbor kid to "show rather than tell" you how grateful I am to be married to a guy like this.

Some background:
1. We live on the corner. Therefore, there is a small area where the two sidewalks connect that is without lawn (wasn't worth it). Instead, I bought and lugged white marble chips to fill it up, thinking it would be less hassle than putting pavers or something more permanent down. Bad idea. We're always coming home to find marble chips strewn about the street. They are oh-so-tempting for children. And they're not inexpensive.

2. The worst offender is our neighbor kid (who is henceforth going to be called "kid" for anonymity's sake and because I can't remember his name). Most kids only wreak havoc with the marble chips when they think we're not looking and when caught run away or at least look ashamed. When we got home the other night, the kid informed us that he likes picking the white "rocks" up and throwing them in our gutters (which due to bad design--and possibly marble chip buildup--are perpetually clogged).

3. The kid's statement reveals a lot about him--he's very unsupervised, uncoached, and basically un-parented. When I think about him, I feel extremely sad. When I talk to him, I usually feel extremely annoyed (isn't that often the case with such people?).


Not so for Josh. Rather than . . . well, let me show you:

Josh: Please don't throw rocks in the gutter.

Kid: Why not?

Because remember that I asked you not to?

Okay, I'll just hold them right here then.

Nah--why don't you throw them back in the pile. What do you like to do?

I don't know.

I looks like you like something.

Nah . . .

You like throwing our rocks into the gutter.

[silence]

Well, what else do you like to do for fun?

I like going to the park, but my dad won't even take me.

Do you like going down the slides and stuff?

Yeah.

Do you like playing in the grass?

No.

Why?

It's boring.

Well, that's too bad. We have a lot of grass. What else do you like to do?

I don't know.

Do you like to climb trees?

Yes, but I can't do it.

Why not?

I'm too short to grab the branches.

Well, you don't have to climb all the branches. See that one in your front yard that's kind of sideways? You could just shimmy up the front side.

Huh?

You put your feet and hands on the trunk and just sort of shimmy up.

Well, I always fall down.

Well, you just gotta keep trying to practice things until you get better at them. For instance, you're good at throwing our rocks in the gutter. You got good at that. Maybe if you start trying to climb trees a lot you'll get good at that.

[resigned] I guess I like climbing trees.

I'm not saying you have to like climbing trees. I'm just saying there are a lot of different things you can do. Do you have any friends you can play with?

Yeah.

Why don't you play with them?

They're not outside right now.

You could go knock on their door and see if they want to play.

Okay [exasperated].

I'm not trying to tell you what to do, I'm just saying there are a lot of options. You're more than welcome to come play over here, I just wish you liked to play in the grass because we've got a lot of that. But we don't want you to throw our rocks in the gutter anymore because we have to pay for all of those.

Well, there's like 100,000 of them.

There used to be. Can you see the dirt and plastic through them now? That's cause people keep taking all our rocks. We have to go buy new ones. But we don't have any money to do that, so it's not very fun.

Well, I'm going to put my shoes back on now.

Okay, that's fine.

Please do not step over there, there are sharp needles [referring to bull thorns in the street].

Did you get your socks wet?

Yeah, I was playing in your deep puddles [in the gutter]. That's something else I like to do is play in puddles, and your puddles are always here. Everyone else's go away.

Maybe that's because people keep throwing rocks in our gutter, so the water can't get through. Just kidding.

[Bored.] I'm gonna go home now.

There is something so tragic, sweet, and hilarious about this conversation to me. Rather than yelling at the kid to stop doing that! (the kid is sadly too used to being yelled at, making excuses, and continuing on in his behavior), Josh has this patient fatherly conversation with him that at once reveals the kid to be in a really sad familial situation and to be a pretty normal 6- or 7-year-old boy. I love that Josh ultimately BORES the kid back home. Isn't that how it should be though? I'm glad this guy is the father of my child.