Thirty

You hear a lot of people say that they are really a kid at heart. I've always been kind of the opposite--always a bit of an adult, even at a very young age. I'm sure it has a lot to do with being the oldest and a lot to due with my lifelong interest in the world of ideas, books, and adult topics generally. 

When I was five or six, I used to sit quietly behind the couch during my mom's bookgroups and listen in to the conversation. I started working a part-time job at age 14 and have been employed continually since then. I was eager to leave high school behind for college and then college for grad school. I married at 21 and didn't ever feel too young to do that, nor did having children make me feel old--at least not any older than I wanted to be. 

However, I have to say that thirty kind of threw me. I was a little surprised, especially since I'm married to someone who has been in his thirties three years now. I thought I was used to the idea. It turns out I wasn't--quite. I think that I've always been so excited for the next stage of life, whatever that is, but now I'm content. Happily married, mother to two darling children, working in a career I love, with my own little house to do with as I please, and a world to travel every few years, I'm good. No changes needed! 

But  in the last couple months, thirty has grown on me. I know that it isn't very old in the grand scheme of things, but I also feel like I'm at a new vantage point--one that allows me to look back and remember being a youth and what it feels like to be focused on the establishment of so much (family, career, etc.) while also affording me with a view of how much to life there is beyond the big changes I experienced in my 20s. And I look forward to the nuance, the richness in relationships, the questions, challenges, and perspectives that await me in this decade (and hopefully in several to come after that).

As for the day itself, it was lovely! Josh treated me to a dinner at Sundance with close friends and family.