My friend and photographer Katrina had a great idea. She's begun a photography blog about breastfeeding to spread awareness that it is a beautiful, normal, and natural things to do--which is important in a society where that isn't always communicated even though we all hear how important breastfeeding is.
Today she posted the photos she took of me and Zoë a couple of weeks ago. I love them and the above is my favorite. I love that I have one of these quiet, special moments documented. Zoë's weaned now all except before nap time, and I love reconnecting with my otherwise very busy toddler in this way when I get home from work. I don't think these pre-nap-time nursing sessions will last much longer, which makes me all the more grateful to have a visual memory of this time.For all of you who think nursing a toddler is strange (read gross, crazy, hippie-ish, harmful--what have you), I just have to say that if I'm perfectly honest, I sort felt the same way before I had Zoë. I knew the health benefits, I knew that the World Health Organization recommended nursing till two, and that it was common practice among many American mothers and many more mothers elsewhere. But I still didn't see myself doing it.
In other words, it just sort of happened. It felt right, and I went with it, which is how I've done a lot of my mothering. And I'm so glad I did. Not only have I seen the health benefits in Zoë, who has so rarely been sick her whole life, including her second year, but I believe that this bond has helped create an emotionally well-adjusted and independent toddler, as paradoxical as that may sound. I'm surely not saying that such a result only comes from extended breastfeeding or that children who aren't breastfed as long won't be the same.
I am saying that breastfeeding beyond what might be seen as "normal" in our culture is one choice--and a valid, beneficial choice at that.
9 comments:
More power to you! I didn't nurse my kids longer than a year but my thinking has "evolved" since then. The fact that most other countries in the world nurse much longer should tell us something.
My issue is that I always really struggle to get my kids to a year. Not just in terms of finding time or the inclination, but I feel like I'm force-feeding or I just don't have enough milk. Abigail weaned herself at 6 months, Jules made it to 13, and Isaac (at 10 months) is fighting breastfeeding so much that I dread it...as in he'll nurse for two minutes before shoving me away with both hands.
I also struggle with really feeling guilty over this--like I'm an inadequate mother. And I worry about whether I'm exercising too much or forgetting to drink enough water or something else that's contributing to the mess.
In other words, breastfeeding is something that's really stressful for me, especially now that it's the third baby and a real time chunk out of the day with 2 other kids (who may or may not behave themselves while I'm otherwise occupied).
oh--and I also want to say that while breastfeeding definitely does help with immunities, don't beat yourself up if the next baby is sick more frequently. Abigail NEVER got sick, and then Juliet and Isaac have been sick all the time, despite nursing almost twice as long--there's just a lot more exposure with older siblings. Just in case you worry about that in a year or so. :-)
Rachael: My post wasn't meant to induce any form of mother guilt (we all have enough of that without any outside help!). Instead, I was trying to alleviate the anxiety (or maybe even guilt) I think some mothers feel who want to nurse past one but don't feel supported in doing so. Like I said--this is what worked for us. Zoe is a milkaholic, always has been. That doesn't mean all kids are. Yes, there are tips for keeping up a milk supply, etc. but that really wasn't my point. And I'm very open to the idea that things may change with my second . . .
I think it is important to acknowledge that breastfeeding can be hard and stressful too. It's not always easy, and I think that's often hidden along with nursing mothers themselves!
I should also say--for anyone considering it--that nursing into the second year is a LOT less time consuming than during the first. After 12 months, babies aren't nursing for much nourishment. It's more for the immunity boost, comfort, reconnection--that type of thing. So it's not nearly as often or as long and can be delayed or postponed as needed.
I don't know how you do it, axel is at the pinching phase and I can say that I am SO excited to wean him. I do love the bond but sometimes I get so frustrated that he pinches me and bites. Do they get over that? He was so good before, its like over night he started to do that.
Anyway, I know how you feel, sometimes I feel like a freak breastfeeding. I hate how people ask me when am I going to start him on formula, WHAT? WHY would I DO THAT EVER? It makes no sense health wise or financially.
That picture is great, and tasteful, and very nice. If your friend wants more models, I am down.
Amy: How old is Axel now? It seems like Zoe started pinching around 9 months or so, and yes, it was a phase that passed. I would just try to hold her other hand. She would bite me sometimes when she was teething, but not too bad.
You should contact Katrina through that blog--she would love more people to photograph.
Very beautiful subjects and photography. I am happy for you that you celebrate breastfeeding. I love what you wrote too.
What a beautiful picture! I only made it to one with my first, but this time we are at 12 months and I think we will continue on until Lucy decides to stop. I am grateful to have the chance to nurse longer this time.
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